


Song

by SerMisty



Series: PolyPearls [29]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Blue Pearl is NOT mute, F/F, Feelings Mostly, I'm alive guys and ready to spam polypearls fanfiction, Multi, THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE LEAKED STEVENBOMB SO BE CAREFUL, angst? maybe?, but she was, guess who's back (back again), this is just... a necessary reaction to the stevenbomb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 12:31:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9440603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerMisty/pseuds/SerMisty
Summary: “Be quiet” said Yellow, defenseless, and Blue obliged. She sighed again. “So tell me, what’s the use of feeling, Blue?”[Or, maybe the song wasn't only for the Diamonds]





	

**Author's Note:**

> I. Am. Back.  
> I know I disappeared completely, a lot of things happened - university, friends, anxiety because of some parts of this fandom... But now I'm back. I'm back, determined to enjoy the good of watching this show without getting in arguments, AND mostly writing polypearls fanfics! The Mother of Polypearls is back guys, fasten your seatbelts, we're going. 
> 
> This short fic is the necessary reaction to the Stevenbomb that, you can imagine, destroyed me. WARNING: SPOILERS. If you haven't watched it yet, don't go any further. 
> 
> [Note: you all know that in my initial headcanon Blue was mute. Well, canon proves me wrong, which is perfectly okay, I can work with that. From now on, here, I'm going to consider like Blue WAS mute, but she overcame this and now she talks, even if she still gestures sometimes (for some more detail you can go reread my fic "Echo" who was written basically for this) (...in italian we'd say: _paraculo_ )] 
> 
> I hope you enjoy, and thank your for always being there! <3

“What’s the use of feeling…”

Yellow kept humming the tune of the song, standing straight next to the door. Their Diamonds had left her and Blue in the hallway alone, explicitly requiring not to be disturbed while they were in there, and Yellow didn’t want to inquire. So she kept humming. 

“What’s the use of feeling, Blue…” 

Blue – the pearl, not the Diamond – was there too, but she was sitting on the floor, her back against the wall. She had placed herself there the very moment they had been left alone, and from time to time she patted the ground next to her, signing Yellow to sit at her side.  
Yellow scoffed. 

“Our Diamonds are just behind this door, you know”. 

Blue giggled softly. 

“Sit”. 

And there was nothing, nothing that Yellow could do to ignore Blue’s requests, not when they were spoken; one could think she should have gotten used to Blue’s voice by now, she spoke to her Diamond and sang and everything, but Yellow was still weak to it. Even now that she could speak, now that she overcame the limit that Yellow always hated to think about as a defect, even now Blue spoke rarely when they were alone, so when she did, Yellow listened.  
She detached from the wall, faking annoyance, and sat down next to Blue. The wall was cold against her back and it sent shivers down her spine – or was it Blue’s hand, that in the meantime had held hers? 

“It has been a while” Blue said. Her voice was music even when she wasn’t singing.  
“Indeed” Yellow nodded. “How are you?” 

Blue simply smiled in response. That was something Blue Diamond never would have the pleasure to see – that smile was only for her.  
“I’m good too. It’s been boring lately. I missed you”. 

Blue moved a little closer and rested her head on Yellow’s shoulder.  
Yes, Yellow missed this. Missed her. Missed the good old days when they saw each other all the time, even if not under the best circumstances. 

“I wish your Diamond would always feel bad” Yellow murmured. “So we could meet more often”. 

Blue raised her head from her shoulder and looked at her. Even through her bangs Yellow could feel the reprimand.

“What?” she raised an eyebrow, defensive.  
“She _does_ always feel bad”. 

Yellow frowned. 

“What?” again, confused this time. 

Blue didn’t repeat herself. She just stared.  
Yellow felt burning with an accusation she hadn’t quite grasped yet.  
She reacted in the only way she was confident: she snorted. 

“Yeah, I’m sure she does feel bad when she bosses you around and orders for gems to be shattered and-“  
“Don’t you always feel bad?” 

It hit. Blue’s voice was as peaceful as ever, a sweet melody, but it hit sharply.  
Yellow pretended like she didn’t notice, but couldn’t find the strength to snort again. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”. 

Blue stared at her silently. To think about it, it was funny – Blue did talk, she said things that once had to explain with her hands, but she went quiet when an actual answer was needed. It was like she knew that words were flawed, superfluous, unable to show what she meant.  
She didn’t need words to let Yellow know exactly what she was talking about.  
And Yellow knew. She heard all the words that Blue refused to speak, and they were loud. 

“No” Yellow shook her head, jerking away the hand that Blue was still holding. “Shut up, you’re wrong”. 

Blue kept staring. 

“We were singing for them. They asked. The song was about Pink Diamond. Shut up”.  
“I am not talking”.  
“I said shut up!” 

Yellow turned her head away, sealing her lips together and slightly shaking. Blue put one hand on her shoulder and, after a moment of hesitation, Yellow let her keep it there. 

“Sometimes we are alike”.  
“No. We’re not like our Diamonds. It’s a different situation”.  
“We all lost someone”. 

Yellow sighed, clutching at her stockings. Blue’s voice come softly, a whisper in her ear, both a song and a confession. 

“Yes, of course we still love her, and we’re always thinking of her… And I know you miss her too…”  
“Be quiet” said Yellow, defenseless, and Blue obliged. She sighed again. “So tell me, what’s the use of feeling, Blue?”  
“I do not know” came the answer, and that wasn’t in the song but maybe should have been. “But we cannot ignore it”.  
“I’m sick of feeling bad. It’s been five thousand years”.  
“The worst is over”. 

That was true, too. At first it was almost unbearable. There was anger and pain and hate and denial and tears and muffled screams so that their Diamonds wouldn’t hear.  
(Sometimes the Diamonds screamed, too).  
They got better. They learned to cope. It was just – this sadness, always lurking, the empty space next to them.  
But they moved on – didn’t they? 

Blue’s hand clutched at her shoulder pad. Yellow turned around. 

“What’s wrong?” she asked. Blue signed something, as if she was suddenly unsure about her voice. “No, I won’t get angry. What is it?” 

Blue signed again. Yellow’s eyes went wide. 

“What?!” she screeched, covering her mouth just in time.  
“I said that I thought I saw her” Blue translated, even if she knew that Yellow’s ‘what’ didn’t relate to the meaning.  
“Where? When?”  
“Here at the door, when Blue Agate came in. It was just for a split second”. 

Yellow did her best to stop shaking, her topknot a little messy. She pressed the base of her nose with two fingers. 

“First I see her when that stupid peridot calls from Earth, and now you. This is what feelings are for, they make us lose our mind”. 

Blue bit her lip. She signed once more. 

“No, I’m not angry. I’m just – I hate this”. 

Blue put her head on her shoulder again. 

“Sorry” she murmured.  
“Nah” Yellow scoffed, “It wouldn’t be you if you didn’t call me out on my feelings”. 

Blue kissed her cheek, and just as she did they heard the unmistakable sound of Blue Agate’s heels from the hallway that intersected the one they were in.  
Both of them jumped on their feet, hurrying back at their position in front of the door.  
(An Agate terrifies).  
Only that Blue Agate didn’t look terrifying at all. She stopped in the spot where the hallways met, she appeared worried and in distress. She glanced at them – more probably at the door – but then shook her head and moved along.  
Yellow and Blue waited until the hallway was silent again and then relaxed. Blue found Yellow’s hand to hold while Yellow snickered. 

“What happened to her? She looked like she saw a ghost!”


End file.
